After reading about Marvin Lewis' drab comments at the post game news conference yesterday, it got me wondering what goes on in his every day world...this is what I have come up with.
6:30am- *alarm goes off*- Marvin hits snooze and goes back to sleep.
6:40am- *alarm goes off*- Marvin wakes up, resets his alarm, and goes back to sleep.
7:30am- *alarm goes off*- Marvin wakes up and contemplates calling in sick. Then he decides that his team needs him and it is time to get up.
7:45am- Marvin finally gets out of bed and hops in the shower. There is no hot water and he has run out of shampoo. He does not get angry, he just thinks, "hmmm...could be worse...at least I am lucky enough to have running water."
8:00am- Marvin is out of the shower and gets dressed. He realizes that a button has fallen off of his pants. "hmmm...no button. That's not good". Instead of changing pants he just uses a safety pin to hold them together. It was either that or duct tape...but a head coach of an NFL football team wearing duct tape...come on...that might make him look silly (similar to an 0-6 record..ziiiiing).
8:10am- Marvin heads downstairs for breakfast. He has no milk for his ceral but figures its not the end of the world. Fibercon will taste fine dry. As long as he can stay regular, it will be a good day.
8:15am-Marvin's wife tells him that Marvin Jr. got suspended from school yesterday for fighting. "Did Marvin Jr. win the fight?" he asks. "No, he got his ass kicked", Mrs. Lewis replies. "Oh...hmmm...I am sure he did some good things. Overall, I am proud with how he reacted to someone fighting him."
8:20am- Marvin spills coffee on his shirt. Instead of changing his shirt, he just goes on with his day and figures if anyone is really going to say anything, the are just a meanie...and Marvin doesn't respond to meanies.
8:30am- Marvin drives to work. About 10 minutes into his drive his car starts making a funny noise and stops working. He realizes that he is out of gas. "Well...at least its not the transmission. I can always fill up the tank later". He realizes it's a beautiful day outside and decides to just walk the 7 miles to work..."who needs a car on a day like this?"
1130am- Marvin finally makes it to PBS. He was forced to cut his black trousers into shorts because it was so warm outside...but he kind of likes the look. No meanies are going to say anything about this...cause it looks gooooooood.
11:35am- Marvin walks to his office to see if he missed any messages. He finds out that his secretary has quit due to personal issues. "Well, we had a good run. I think she just needed to do what was best for the team", he thought to himself.
11:40am- Marvin realizes he does not know how to check his voicemail. "If it was really important they will call back."
11:45am- Marvin decides that it has been a hectic morning so he takes a quick power nap at his desk.
2:15pm- Marvin wakes up from his "power nap". He walks over to Bob Bratkowski's office to see what he is doing. Brat is on the ground playing with his Legos, so Marvin asks if he can join him. The two make an awesome Lego castle. Success!!!
3:00pm- Carson walks into Brats office and sees Marvin and Brat staring at their awesome Lego castle. "Uh...coaches, shouldn't we be practicing?...you know what, you guys just stay here, I'll take care of it". Marvin responds "I think that's a good idea. You just do what you think is best for the team. I would have called a practice myself, but I think we have been doing some good things. I didn't want to over stimulate the guys too much".
3:15pm- Marvin and Brat decide that it's time to do some real work. Awesome Lego castles don't win championships...they are just awesome. The two get settled into watch the game tape of the most recent loss.
3:17pm- Both of them are asleep on the couch in Brats office. Carson walks by and sees this. He shakes his head and covers the two up with a blanket. Awww...how cute.
5:00pm- Marvin and Brat wake up and see the time. "Well...another day in the books" Marvin says. "Time to hit the old dusty trail."
7:00pm- Marvin returns to his house and tells Mrs. Lewis about his day. He tells her about the car, and the nap, and the awesome Lego castle. She is so proud of her "special guy".
8:30pm- Marvin and Mrs. Lewis have dinner and then it's off to bed for Marvin. It is past his bed time and he has a busy day of power naps and unenthusiastic praise on the schedule for tomorrow.
9:15pm- Marvin has a bad dream about having to make a real football decision. He wets his bed and almost electrocutes himself because of his electric blanket was on full power. Sleep tight Marvin.
Viva La Revolucion
I'm optimistic. I think we are only a dead owner, a GM, a new coach, indoor practice facility, improved PBS workout facilities, new contracts for the WRs, several key draft picks, and 12 or 13 free agents away from winning the Superbowl.
Viva la revolucion!
Posted by: Rich | October 13, 2008 at 11:01 AM
Rich,
You hit the nail on the head. Unfortunatley, with advances in todays medical procedures and science, Ol' Saggy Mike Brown might be with us for 25-30 more years... And, with oil prices dropping, he can definatley afford to change that black sludge in his heart that he calls blood.
Posted by: Who Che | October 13, 2008 at 11:23 AM
God Help Us.
I'm surprised that Chick didn't show up to ask him some tough questions leaving Marvin to giggle and blow him off.
meanies.
Posted by: Vladidouche Lenin | October 13, 2008 at 12:03 PM
Rich, for the one billionth straight week (rough guess) you win the "commenter of the week" award.
Posted by: Sleeping With Bieniemy | October 13, 2008 at 08:46 PM
I am just glad I get to hang out here and spew this cynical crap.
Posted by: Rich | October 14, 2008 at 05:04 AM