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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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September 07, 2008

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There is nothing clean or honorable about this situation.
The reason why WDR exists is the cynicism that comes from the realization that after being a Bengals fan since I was but a boy that they are not going to change. They are not going to change for us to become something else. This team is a carson, chad, and tj away from being the teams of the 90's. And that is just pathetic.
And even good draft picks can't help a team that can't use them wisely or manage the personnel they have.

Yeah, I need to change - because the Bengals aren't going to change for me.

Rich from DC

I'm no football mastermind like Mike Brown and Marvin Lewis, but the offense is supposed to score more than the defense, right?

Unfucking believable. Just bring back Shula and get it over with. Didn't the Thrauts offer to buy the team years ago? Really, could things be worse?

The pages and pages of shuffle passes need to be torn out of the playbook. That would be a good first step.

I love this site. It, sadly, is ahead of its time. A season of sold out PBS says as much.

Lewis is a pop psychology mess, he isn't effective in teaching, and is really just downright corny. If he wants his job he should be screaming in the face of every idiot on that O line.

i've taken shits that can make better play calls than brat...how the hell has this numb-dick managed to coach in this league for so long? i say it's time to take to the streets and start this revolution...first victim, b. bratowski

The real scary thing is that when Marvin is walks away at the end of the season Mike Brown will probably make Bratkowski our new head coach. I wish I was joking but comrade Jason Buck, a wise man, assures me this is a distinct possibility.

Bienemy, the only positive that would come out of that is that Brat would be just about as effective as Marvin's been for the past two years and we'd have the added benefit of having Zampese take over the offensive playcalling.

Yeah - Zampese calling plays was tossed around as an idea at the bar today. I have no idea if he is known to be more creative but he certainly couldn't be less. Regardless, Brat is supposed to be the biggest yes man in the Bengals organization, and there's no where to promote him up besides head coach. Yikes.

It doesnt matter who the coach is. Mike Brown won't give them the leadership, the free agents, the front office or the facilities to win. Every coach in the NFL knows this, so the Bengals won't be able to go out and get a good coach. And they'll ruin a diamond in the rough.

It will never change as long as we have this ownership.

when is it ok for me to start rooting for another team?

When Mike brown sells the bengals and we relocate to London, England. Then we can root for the London whatever-thefucktheycallem.

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    Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

    • 20 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

      0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

      .359 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (115-206-1 in 20 seasons)

      29-34-1 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

      6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

      0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

      10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

      32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

      458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

      2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

      3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

      747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

      118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

      97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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