They're Your Ingredients. You Cook Them Fatass.

As the Bengals season capsizes into the Ohio River, I offer Marvin Lewis the chance to be a Cincinnati legend and call out Mike Brown for the fucking jackass he is. Step down and in the press conference tell the world that Mike Brown and his unlimited football knowledge should coach the team.

Marvin should say, "Hey, if you think you can run the team just like your dad did, I shouldn't have to remind you that your dad also coached. Let's see your fat old ass redeem this team."

Then he should knock over the mic and walk away, leaving Mikey to handle this boiling cauldron of shit called the Bengals. Maybe it would teach Mikey that he will never live up to his dad's name and that maybe he should leave the football decisions to the people who know their shit.

The only drawback would be that Carson would probably have a nervous breakdown and never throw a football again. He might prefer that though to the beating he's been taking so far this preseason. It might be quitting, and Palmer ain't no quitter, but sometimes you have to take into perspective how bad things are when Kevin Kaesviharn is getting free shots on you two steps into your five step drop.

Comments

[Andrew Simon]

This scenario reminds me of the climactic scene when Coach Pete Bell puts it all out there in Blue Chips.

[IgnatiusJReilly]

If this were a band, we could break up the team and then reform without Mike.

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