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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the seventeen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Mike Brown and Marvin Lewis Headed Towards Showdown over Chris Henry | Main | ESPN Has Already Stolen Your Brain »

August 06, 2008

BREAKING NEWS: (read: Rumors, Hearsay & Other Baseless Claims...)

We here at WDR in general would prefer not to be party to rank speculation and spreading potentially false information...but in this case the juicy tidbit that has fallen into our lap is such a perfect combination of timeliness and ridiculousness that we cannot help it.

First, read the post below this one entitled "Mike Brown and Marvin Lewis Headed Towards Showdown Over Chris Henry."  Seriously, go read it.

Done?

Okay, apparently Chris Henry was seen at Bengals training camp late this evening.  Didn't take long for that showdown to arrive, huh?  Of course, this could be totally false.  But if it isn't, and Mikey wants Chris Henry on the team, it represents perhaps one of the worst indictments of Mike Brown in his 17 year reign.  No small accomplishment.

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I want to know how the heck Henry would even make the team. In addition to Chad and TJ, you have:

Andre Caldwell
Jerome Simpson
Marcus Maxwell
Antonio Chatman
Glenn Holt
Marcus Urrutia
Maurice Purify
Clyde Logan

Unless the Bengals plan to run the A-11, I just dont know how Henry makes the team...especially when he will be suspended for the first four games.

I concur, which just makes this all the more insane. Also, good thing we used all those draft picks on wide receivers to replace Chad and Chris.

This is based on nothing. What is this? I know a guy who's friends with a guy who went to training camp and thought he saw Chris Henry.

If your friends guy saw it and we saw it then that makes it true. Thanks for confirming this for us.

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Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

  • 17 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

    0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

    .348 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (97-181 in 17 seasons)

    15-23 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

    6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

    0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

    10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

    32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

    458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

    2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

    6 3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

    747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

    118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

    97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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