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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the seventeen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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July 01, 2008

E-Harmony says Enquirer and Internet not a love match

Old_computer_2  The Enquirer, Cincinnati's average at best newspaper, is apparently skeptical of this whole internet thing everyone keeps talking about. A couple weeks ago, the Enquirer made a bold move by changing their web site's format. And by bold I mean they decided to make their site so infuriating and hard to wander around on that people would be forced to get their local news from the actual paper version. Hah, and next we'll all be wearing powdered wigs and going to a good ole friday night barn raising.

Let's start at the beginning. When I type in the URL for the enquirer site, my internet turns into 56K and I have to wait an interminable amount of time until the site loads. Maybe if this was 1996 that would be normal, but it isn't. Mark Twain would nod his head in agreement.

Once the site reluctantly loads, you are faced with half a photo of the front page story and a few headlines squeezed into the margins on the left side. I'm not sure who designed their site, but it won't be winning any awards for accessibility and navigational ease. It makes you wonder just what they were thinking when they decided to change the format.

I would tell you about the sports section on the site but I can't seem to find it. Oh there it is, you only have to scroll three quarters of the way down a very long home page to find it buried between the Community Press & Recorders and Business sections. That's a good way to ensure that the people who likely go to the site will never come back.

If I was a betting man I would say that Mike Brown won the contract to overhaul the site but then in a cost saving move, found someone in their first year of graphic design who has character issues in class to do it for $20 and a free preseason ticket.

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The site redesign is awful. You can not find actual newspaper articles. Every article is now a "blog" post. I have nothing against blogs, you know being a "blogger" and all. But there is no need for "comment" from everyone on EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE!

Its "news"...there should not be "comment". I may never read the Enquirer again. Now I need something to do with that 15 minutes of my day.

Calling the redesign awful is a MAJOR understatement. It's beyond frustrating to try and find anything on that page. I don't really understand the point, unless the idea was to try and get people to avoid the site.

I went on there to try and find John Fay's blog. After 10 minutes I gave up. I live in Chattanooga now and used to use the Enquirer's website to keep up with all things Cincinnati. Not anymore... I'd rather go without the news than try to find anything on that website.

Enquirer.com should just be a link to Paul Daugherty's column - thats it.

The employees at the company that redesigned that site should start to get their resumes together because that company is not going to be around much longer.

I really think that the bloggers post less because of it. Curnutte hardly ever has new entries these days and Borgman even had a direct post complaining about the new format.

Like Andrew, I see what Mr. Daugherty has to say then flee the site as fast as possible.

you still read paul daughterty? I don't think he has written a good column in years especially since he got the radio show and really started mailing it in. His opinions regarding the reds are so incomprehensibly awful i don't know where to start, needless to say he is not a big fan of the bill james method of evaluating players which has only helped teams like the red sox make much smarter decisions than the reds. When he's writing about the Bengals he's just been recycling material for the last dozen years. I'm surprised he hasn't been given a regular spot on Around the Horn where he could probably do the impossible in making Marioti sound smart.

I don't check back often, just whenever the spirit catches me. I agree, his writing on the Reds has been terrible. Fire Joe Morgan has had fun with some of his columns, see this example of a thorough shredding:

http://www.firejoemorgan.com/2008/03/theres-war-brewing.html

But he wrote the best of anyone about the Bengals in the lost decade+ so he still has a place in the WDR hall of fame, in my opinion.

We are assuming that actual employees created the redesigned site. It was probably a High School Web Project gone wrong. Wait, forgive me. That is giving too much credit. It's a Middle School Project gone wrong.

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Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

  • 17 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

    0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

    .348 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (97-181 in 17 seasons)

    15-23 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

    6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

    0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

    10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

    32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

    458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

    2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

    6 3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

    747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

    118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

    97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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