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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

  • Preamble

    IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the seventeen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

    Introduction

    WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

    Manifesto Demands

    THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

    THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

    THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

    THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

    THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

    THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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« Who Dey Revolution on 1530AM HOMER | Main | Bengals Player Personnel Department: Myth or Reality? »

April 21, 2008

Donate your Chad Johnson Jersey to Charity

If you are like me and believe that the Bengals need to get rid of Chad Johnson quicker than you can say “Please,  Mike Brown, for the love of God, trade Chad Johnson for another 1st round pick,” the big issue is what to do with your #85 jersey you used to wear with such pride. 

Chad_redskins We at WhoDeyRevolution have a solution – donate it to charity. Mo Egger, Lance McAllister and Alan Cutler over at 1530AM HOMER are doing a similar single-day promotion for their draft party on Saturday, but we want to give Bengals Nation more opportunity to get rid of your 85 jersey’s.

We are going to work to set up drop points at bars and restaurants all over this great country of ours to collect your now worthless Chad Johnson jersey’s. Once we have worked it out with the revolutionary establishment, we will donate them to a charity that will donate the jersey’s to needy children all over the world, similar to what they do each year with the losing teams Super Bowl Champion shirts. 

One drop-off location has already been established in Cincinnati Slatts Pub, a great neighborhood bar/restaurant in Blue Ash.

Slatts Pub is located at 4858 Cooper Road in downtown Blue Ash. If you drop by when they are open, they will have a location where you can leave the jersey.

And make sure you stay for some of their biscuits. Trust me.

Check back often for more locations across the country where you can discard your #85 jersey.

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Can't even spell 'Napoleon'. Must be from Cinci-Nasty.

Can't even spell 'Napoleon'. Must be from Cinci-Nasty.

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Bengals Futility - By The Numbers

  • 17 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game

    0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner

    .348 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (97-181 in 17 seasons)

    15-23 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers

    6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.

    0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility

    10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006

    32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007

    458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS

    2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal

    6 3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league

    747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona

    118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.

    97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

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