WhoDeyRevolution

Well That Was Fun

The Bengals moved to 6-0 in the AFC North in one of the most boring games I've ever seen.  Quick hit thoughts, leave yours in the comments:

• I'm not going to knock the playcalling.  There were a lot of runs, they were somewhat successful, Carson looked terrible, and the Browns are terrible offensively.  Still, it's somewhat disturbing that this team refuses to step on the throat of inferior opponents.  It cost them last week, it didn't this week, but either way that's not the mark of elite teams. 
• Since Week 5, look at the Bengals' point totals:  17, 45, 17, 18, 17, 16.  Outside of the Bears' game, the offense hasn't been acceptable.  I think we all know 17 points per game won't get it done against the Colts, Patriots, or Chargers come January.
• Jonathan Joseph and Leon Hall.  Someone needs a find a way to lock these guys up as soon as possible.
• I had the Bengals' D in fantasy.  1 sack, no turnovers.  Disappointment.  Not that anybody else cares.
• Nice to see Andre Smith out there.  Didn't see much from him either way, but it's still nice.  Looks like they'll ease him into the lineup in tackle eligible alignments as the right tackle.  He could be a nice upgrade on running downs in that regard.
• The Shaun Rogers/Carson play was terrifying.  Can't believe Shayne can still kick a ball 52 yards.
• Glad to see the ball stay out of Josh Cribbs' hands.  He's their only offense at times.
• Eric Mangini is so bad.  I have no clue what he was complaining about at the end of the first half on the horsecollar play.

Hey Hey Hey ... !

While I gorge myself on La Rosas Pizza, Skyline, Penn Station, Thanksgiving Dinner, and Miller Lights over my stay back in Cincinnati there is one thing that I think about...  and that is the Men and Women who serve our country.  I would like to thank all those individuals who have made the sacrifice and commitment to make days like this possible and protect the greatest country in the world.  Now, while I would normally post photos of DBs such as this guy and this guy with an open camel toe or great big fat people (please pay no mind to the Steeler Girls...  They were obviously not from Dirtsburgh and were paid to wear those shirts) I will instead submit a rarity at Bengals games in the form of this, this, this, this, this, and this.  And although not Bengals related I did find this and felt the need to share.  Notice to the left of the previous photo if you feel the need to get said picture on a mug, t-shirt, or playing cards they are available through photobucket.  And that is why America is so great...

Thank you men and women of the Armed Forces!  WHO DEY!

I Don't Know If You've Heard, But Bob Bratkowski Sucks

From ESPN.com's TMQ:

Here are the 10 teams that run most often on first down: N.Y. Jets (72 percent), St. Louis (61), Tennessee (59), Cincinnati (59), Minnesota (58), Cleveland (57), Carolina (57), Buffalo (56) and San Diego (56).

Let's run those down:

1. Jets - their quarterback is a rookie turnover machine
2. Rams - their best player, by far and away, is Steven Jackson and their offensive line can't pass protect
3. Titans - neither of their quarterbacks are built to sling it around the field and they have a dynamic weapon in the backfield in Chris Johnson
4. Bengals - Brat
5. Vikings - They have the second coming of Eric Dickerson at tailback
6. Browns - Lady Quinn and Derek Anderson
7. Panthers - Jake Delhomme might be shaving points and they have a stellar running back duo
8. Buffalo - Need I remind you about Crazy Legs Fitzpatrick's play from last year
9. Chargers - Norv Turner and some strange devotion to a washed up LdT.  I can't explain this one either

Forgetting for a second that Easterbrook is a moron and only listed 9 teams, look at those.  Other than the Chargers and Bengals, everyone on that list has a legit reason for being there.  One of three things have to happen, A) their quarterback sucks, B) they have an elite running back or C) both. 

I'm totally willing to admit I was wrong on Cedric Benson, but I think it's a big stretch to put him in the class of Peterson, Johnson, and Jackson.  Benson's good, but he's not that good.

That begs the question.  Why, exactly, are the Bengals running the ball nearly 60 percent of the time on first down?  According to Football Outsiders, the Bengals pass offense ranks 7th in the league and the run offense ranks 13th.  Interestingly enough, of the top 11 total offenses, 8 of them are ranked in the top 9 in passing.  Take a look:

Team	Passing Offense Rank	Total Offense Rank
New England	1	1
San Diego	2	6
Indianapolis	3	2
Minnesota	4	7
Houston	5	9
New Orleans	6	3
Cincinnati	7	17
Arizona	8	8
Pittsburgh	9	11

Looking at that, you could certainly make the argument that Minnesota should throw the ball more along with San Diego and Cincinnati.  Nobody is arguing that Brad Childress is a genius though.

The verdict?  BRAT SUCKS!!!

Brat: Ugh

Bob Bratkowski has done some nice things this season, such as creating unique, running-based formations that include unbalanced offensive line sets.

Still, I continue seeing him as a sub-par (and that's putting it mildly) offensive play-caller and game planner. Sure, he'll have his isolated strong moments, like in the Chicago game, but these have been aberrations; Brat remains the guy I thought he was back in July. Last Sunday's game, not lost only because of Brat's poor performance but certainly partially as a result of it, only further proved this.

Brat's offense ran forty-three times, only passing on twenty-two plays. Below, I'll attempt to enter the man's mind (I'm not exactly looking forward to it) and pinpoint why exactly he thought it necessary to call such an unbalanced set of plays.

Dear Bills, Please Hire This Man.

The rumors yesterday were that Cowher turned downs the Bills HC job. As awful as Cowher is as a human being, he still isn't idiotic enough to take over that train wreck of a team. But you know who would love to establish the run in a head position? Bob Bratkowski. The dynamic playcaller has waited his turn and now it's Brat's time to shine.

Mike Brown: A Judge of Talent for 20+ Years

From Peter King's MMQB:

In 1989, Tony Dungy was an unemployed coach, having left the Steelers coaching staff. He thought he was going to catch on with the Cincinnati Bengals, working under Sam Wyche as the defensive line coach, but GM Mike Brown was uncomfortable hiring a guy to coach the line who'd never done it before.

Obviously, Mike Brown didn't just start sucking last week.  He's been doing it for years.

My Hate Cup Overfloweth For Bob Bratkowski

There are no words for Bob "The Genius" Bratkowski anymore. He is awful at his job and he will likely be rewarded for his continued brilliance by becoming the next head coach. I sincerely hope this doesn't happen but once Mikey Boy finds a good yes man he is loathe to let him go. Christ is he bad. If only there was some way to change him, to make him see the error of his ways...........

Opportunity Lost

That sucked.

You can call it a "mulligan" or say it didn't matter because the entire AFC North lost too but the fact is it does matter.

Because you know who didn't lose?  The Patriots and Chargers.  Lest we forget, after last week's win the Bengals odds of making the playoffs was estimated around 97%.  Also, they had the inside track for the 2nd seed and a first round bye.

Well now we have the same record as both the Patriots and Chargers.  We have to play at San Diego, where they have the advantage, and a loss would give them the tiebreak should it matter for the 2nd seed (and it could easily matter).  The Patriots, in my opinion, still remain the odds on Super Bowl favorite despite some tough games left.

That's why this loss matters.

Call me ungrateful and say that I should be happy with 7-3 regardless.  Well, f that.  I don't care if  we were a little fortunate to be in this position in the first place and the season has gone better than any of us hoped.  That fact is we were in great position with a gimme opportunity to all but put the rest of the division away and keep the 2 seed well within our reach.  And we let it go.

And just like we failed to put Oakland away time after time and that cost us the game, failing to capitalize on easy games like this may cost us at least the 2 seed and maybe worse.  The goal is to win the Super Bowl and making the road to the Super Bowl as favorable as possible matters.  For example, I don't know about you but I certainly don't want to see the Steelers again in the wild card round.  Taking care of business would have made that scenario much more unlikely.

Now look, the sky is not falling.  We will be fine.  Maybe it lights a fire and keeps us motivated the rest of the way.  And I'm talking about future playoff positioning already when we haven't yet clinched a spot. 

But while some are shrugging off this loss I will continue to hold the team to higher standards.  The Colts, Patriots, and Steelers of the world certainly hold themselves to these standards and it's time we as fans did too.

No Dennis Or Big Breasted Women Around To Save The Bengals In Oakland

Latte, or an Ice Cold Big Red?

I admit that I would probably would not have written this post if the Bengals won this weekend.  But given the fact that they lost, and that Shayne was one of the many reasons they lost today, I could not hold back.  

What you see to the left is a customer loyalty card from my favorite establishment in Madeira. What you see next to that is, kid you not, a two day old autograph from WDR's favorite soccer player.  

The story goes as such:

I found myself shipping a package at FedEx a couple days ago, right next to Kicker Red. When he went to leave the store I could not help but ask for his autograph.  The kicker of this whole situation (see what I did there?) was the fact that the only piece of paper I had was this Coffee Please loyalty card for him to sign.  The truth is, it was an awkward situation that was enhanced by my asking of questions such as " uh excuse me, are you Shayne Graham?" and "can I have your signatu.. I mean autograph?"

But that's not the point. The point is that right now I am stuck. I don't know whether to fulfill my card and enjoy a delicious beverage of my choice, free of charge, or to hang on to this autograph that just pisses me off every time I look at it. Choice number one sounds like a winner to me right now. But what would you do, loyal reader, if you had the same dilemma? I need some help here...